He carries out behaviour and makes comments that break you down. But a man is much more considerate than this — he always goes out of his way to make you feel beautiful. A man will help build you up, make you feel secure, confident, and beautiful at all times. While a man is works towards long-term vision, a boy is distracted by momentary pleasures. Boys are going out to the bar and getting hammered every weekend, playing video games and wasting time, and binge watching series on Netflix every single Saturday afternoon the couch.
Does he make your pleasure a priority? Or does he always just finish, roll over, and go to sleep? A man not only knows how to operate himself down there, but he makes your pleasure a number one priority. Does your guy communicate with you regularly? Men are much more self-aware of their emotions. Men men understand the value and importance of communicating in a relationship, and how communication helps you grow closer as a couple and develop new layers of intimacy in your relationship.
Is he stubborn and constantly trying to win arguments? A boy will get wrapped up in his ego, forcefully trying to prove his point and be right, while a man would much rather be in love than be right. A man understands that being right is not worth it, but rather trying to find common ground and mutual understanding is how you work through the disagreement and move on, closer as a couple.
A boy will see what he can get away with in the relationship. In other words, he will push the boundaries and come close to crossing that line you should never cross in a relationship. But a man is aware of that line in a relationship, and he respects that line by not going anywhere near that line. Crossing the line could be behaviour like talking to other girls on social media, being overly flirtatious, or abusing the freedom he gets from you because he thinks he can take advantage of how cool you are.
A man respects your relationship, a boy takes your relationship for granted. You could say that a boy is clingy and suffocating. Or does he happily let you go have fun with your girls and plan his own thing? A man understands that creating a bit of space between him and his partner so they can maintain their separate identities is extremely healthy and important for their relationship. A boy can see this space as threating, thus making him insecure, reactive, and jealous when his girlfriend wants to maintain some element of freedom and independence within the relationship.
Most importantly, a man wants this freedom and independence himself within the relationship, which creates a much healthier dynamic of two full people coming together to be even stronger as a unit. A boy tries to grapple with this insecurity by not allowing you to have your freedom — for example: A strong man will support you and push you in the direction of your goals and dreams, while a boy will be intimidated by your success and drive to succeed.
Men, generally speaking, have worked hard to produce their own things that give them confidence and allow them to feel secure in who they are, so they are nothing but supportive to a woman who is creating big things for herself. Or can he allow you to sometimes have a starring role and stand back, clapping for your successes? This is a very toxic communication pattern…but does he hold grudges and labour after arguments? A year went and I met a man. He persisted and would always hit me up to hang. I honestly thought he was fun to hangout with and I kept seeing him.
Six months after, I realized that I was starting to develop feelings for him. He was courteous, a friend, listener and genuinely cared for what I had to say. Have you ever witnessed a couple be it strangers on the street or like me, a friend and her boyfriend arguing and the man gets angry and starts name calling? When did love become abusive?
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In a healthy relationship, respect is more important than love. Because when there is respect, everything will fall in place. It is funny how people think all you need from a relationship is love, but respect is crucial. He not only respects you, he respects what you both have.
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- 1. They’re charming — at first!
He knows that this bubble called relationship is extremely fragile and needs to be protected. When a man truly loves you, other girls are insignificant to him because he is loyal to you. Not only out of respect for you, but for himself and his word. A man loves you when he is respectful in his words, actions, efforts and thoughts.
2. The spotlight shifts from you to your partner
How can a man misuse such a strong word on a complete stranger? If a man ever tells you he loves you quickly, please be very skeptical. His decision made me respect him even more. And when he finally said it, it was worth the wait. He says he cares for you but his actions states otherwise.
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He says he gives you his word but breaks it every time. As women, we need to pay attention to actions and not words. I would pick a man that lets his actions speak for him than a man that is all talk.
If you are dating a man that is all talk, give him away for free. He will make you his priority and keep his word. If he says he will be at your place at 8 p. I can tell you where it is going, nowhere! How can he truly love you yet go days without communicating with you? When a man loves you, he will check in at different hours of the day to make sure you are okay or call to hear your voice because you were on his mind.
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If you go 24 hours without any form of communication from a man that claims to love you, drop him. You are now single and free to mingle! This also has nothing to do with me binge-watching Ryan Gosling movies and wanting my own lovely gentleman. But when I started dating my boyfriend, he showed me how a gentle man is supposed to treat his lady. He showed me in subtle ways: Look out for the little things. Does he open doors for you?
Sit after you sit? Never walk ahead of you?
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Praise you when you doubt yourself? Always on his iPhone when you are supposed to be bonding instead of dropping it and listening to you? Gone are the days when men would go far and beyond to get the first date from a woman. But now, men either take the lazy way that requires no effort; inviting her over for Netflix and chill so he can later try to take her to bed. Pay attention to how he treats strangers. Is he a jerk? Now I am not suggesting that he pays your student loans or credit card bills, but just how invested is he when you need help.